


Jim's Brilliant Idea

by GenericUsername01



Series: let's blame jim for this [1]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Triumvirate, meddling jim, some absolute bullshit, the marry spock to keep him on the enterprise trope, which is like my favorite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-26 20:59:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15671184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GenericUsername01/pseuds/GenericUsername01
Summary: Jim got down on one knee and pulled out a small velvet box, a somber, hopeful look on his face. He opened to reveal an engagement ring, simple and tasteful, but Leonard had no doubt that it cost more than the Enterprise itself.Horrible fear and dread seeped through his chest. "Jim...""No, Bones, hear me out. I have to say this," he said. "Will you... marry Spock?"





	Jim's Brilliant Idea

Leonard McCoy puts up with a lot of bullshit. The Enterprise is practically a magnet for it. Jim actively generates it. Spock is an enabler.

But never before has he seen it reach levels as high as this.

He knew something was up right away when Jim came into his quarters looking anxious as all get out. Jim is never anxious. Leonard has seen him fully calm and in control with a gun to his head. The only times he got nervous was when he thought he was going to lose someone, and Jim thinking he was going to lose someone usually meant Spock was on the operating table, usually for doing some damn fool thing like jumping in front of the bullet after Jim got his idiot self shot at.

"Jim? What is it? Are you hurt? Is Spock hurt?" He was already pulling out the emergency medical tricorder he kept stashed on his desk and scanning him with it.

"No, no, no one's hurt. Everyone's fine," he said, seeming distracted. "I just had a conference call with Komack. The five year mission's coming to a close."

Leonard regarded him suspiciously.

And as it turned out, he was absolutely right to do so.

Jim got down on one knee and pulled out a small velvet box, a somber, hopeful look on his face. He opened to reveal an engagement ring, simple and tasteful, but Leonard had no doubt that it cost more than the Enterprise itself.

Horrible fear and dread seeped through his chest. "Jim..."

"No, Bones, hear me out. I have to say this," he said. "Will you... marry Spock?"

For a second, he didn't say anything. Then he exploded.

"Goddammit, man! Are you kidding me?! I thought something was  _wrong,_ you dumbass! Does Spock know you're here? Did he put you up to this? I swear, if this is some sort of revenge for me messing with his--"

"Bones. Bones, no. I'm dead serious."

He gave him a withering look. Jim stood up from the floor and re-pocketed the ring box.

"Command wants to promote Spock after the mission's over. Make him a captain and give him his own ship. It's not exactly a request. Thing is, Spock doesn't wanna be a captain and I wanna keep him as my First. Regulations state married couples have a right to be posted together, so the solution is simple. Someone has to marry Spock. Someone who's on the Enterprise and can't be transferred to whatever ship they pick out for him."

"And why does that have to be me?" Leonard asked. "This is your stupid idea.  _You_ marry him."

"Can't. That would compromise the command team. Captains and First Officers can be with anyone on their ships, except for each other. Look what happened to Pike. He got involved with Number One, and bam! Ground assignments, both of them," he said. "The CMO, though? You're not involved in the command of the ship, and what's even better is that you can't be promoted. You are already at the peak of your career: CMO of Starfleet's flagship. They aren't gonna  _demote_ you, which is exactly what a transfer would be. If you marry Spock, they have no choice but to let him stay on the ship."

Leonard just stared at him, dumbfounded.

"Look, you can say no. But the only other option is Scotty. And nobody wants Spock to marry Scotty, including Spock and Scotty. You'd be doing him a favor." He set the ring box on the corner of Leonard's desk. "Think it over, okay?"

* * *

He immediately went to go talk to Spock.

"You sent  _Jim_ to propose to me  _for you?"_ he asked. "What, you couldn't be bothered to do it yourself?"

Spock set his padd down, face stony. He rose from his seat on the couch and went over to his desk, pulling open a drawer and inspecting it. "He stole the ring," he said flatly. "I told him I was getting around to it. There are three weeks left before the mission ends, I don't see why--"

"Spock," he interrupted. "What the hell is going on here?"

Spock blinked. He took a breath to compose himself. "Approximately five months ago, I received notice that I was to be promoted at the end of this tour. Jim and I discussed it, and he came up with a plan of action, which I agreed to implement. Apparently, I failed to do so within his prescribed timeframe, and he has now taken matters into his own hands."

McCoy could just picture it: Spock and Jim sitting across a chessboard, talking strategy and throwing bullshit ideas out in the air. Jim somehow talks Spock into his latest harebrained scheme, like always. Spock goes out and buys a ring worth a small planetoid.

And then he sits on it and procrastinates for five whole freakin' months.

"Spock," he said. "Tell me honestly. Do you  _want_ to marry me?"

And Spock looked at him, as earnest and hopeful and downright  _vulnerable_ as McCoy had ever seen him. "Yes, Leonard. It is my dearest desire."

And McCoy closed his eyes, because he was going to regret the hell out of this. It would be so much easier to say no if that wasn't his 'dearest desire' also, but no doubt in a very different way from what Spock had meant.

Could he really do this? Could he really subject himself to a loveless marriage, after the disaster that was his first one? Well, not an entirely loveless marriage. He was in love, and Spock wanted to avoid a promotion, of all things.

Could he really marry the man he loved knowing full well that he felt absolutely nothing for him in return?

Spock was still looking at him like he'd pinned the damn stars in the sky, waiting for an answer.

Leonard sighed, already tired down to his bones. "Yes, Spock. Of course I'll marry you."

Spock's whole face lit up-- subtly, of course. Leonard scowled.

Damn hobgoblin was gonna be the death of him one day.


End file.
